And Learn to Love Yourself
This article on overcoming self-hatred is an introduction to "Matters of the Heart," our free eCourse for spiritual growth and emotional transformation. The 24 Main Healing Lessons from the course can be found in the downloads section in PDF and MP3 formats. They are also available in our Store as an ebook, a 176 page workbook and as CD and DVD sets of 24, 1/2 hour teachings.
You Don't Have to Hate Yourself
Overcoming self-hatred begins with realizing that your God really wants you to learn how to love and accept yourself—just as He does. Let’s face it—if God isn’t for us, we’re toast. But if God (which includes The Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit) is for us, if He really, really loves us, and truly does have plans to help us grow into the person we wish to become, then…surely there is a way to learn how to love and accept ourselves.
In fact it is a very pleasing thing to God whenever we take heart and begin to believe that He hasn’t made a mistake in making us. He just loves it whenever we take a step towards embracing His perspective on our lives! To overcome self-hatred we will, therefore, have to take a good look, not just at who we are, but who our God is to us (see Our New Identity and The Father's Heart). To get started, let’s focus on three main steps for overcoming self-hatred: releasing pain, accepting the “unacceptable” things, and choosing to believe the truth about who we really are.
1) Releasing pain. It is so important to release past pain. If you and I cannot find a way to let go of the pains of past trauma, of rejection by others, of hurt and injustice, or of loss and sorrow, we will inevitably not want to live our lives as they are—filled with pain. This is only normal and natural. What is needed is to learn God’s proven ways of releasing pain by giving it to Him (see Freedom through Forgivingand Good Grief).
2) Accepting the "unacceptable." It is also necessary to learn to accept things about ourselves that have (up to now) been unacceptable to us. How can we do this? By realizing that God already accepts us just as we are—with these “unacceptable” things still in place and is ready for us to go on with our lives with Him (2 Corinthians 5:18-21). None of these things need be a blockage to our future (they can in fact become building blocks), but hating ourselves for them being there certainly will jam up the works (see Love Thyself!).
3) Choosing to believe the truth. The third requirement for overcoming self-hatred is to begin agreeing with God’s perspective on our lives, rather than our own. The truth is it really is a great, good thing to be you—because of who He is to you and who you are in Him. To get started confess by faith as an act of your will (repeating this out loud, until your heart really believes it):
Because of my Father’s perfect love for me, His never-ending mercy for me, the future and hope He has for me, and His commitment to bring good out of everything that has ever happened or will ever happen to me, it really is a great, good thing to be me! I therefore choose to fully forgive myself and accept myself—just as He does. And I will fight to take my life back from all unloving attitudes against myself. I may have had a bad beginning, but I am going to have a great never-ending!
Overcoming self-hatred starts with entrusting your life to God and accepting the unconditional love that He has for you. It is essential that you learn to give grace to yourself and rightly love yourself in Christ so that you can become a grace giver to others—even helping some of them overcome self-hatred also. You can help them also say and believe that...
Because God loves me so devotedly--
it really is a great, good thing to be me!
Interested in Going Deeper?
Consider taking our free eCourse for Healing.We have designed a complete series for personal transformation, "Matters of the Heart," to help Christians gain emotional freedom and inner healing. In all there are 24 Main Healing Lessons and 24 Head to Heart Guides to help you bring your heart to God and receive His Great Heart for you in return!