The ABCs Of Emotional Intelligence
Live In The Spirit With Greater Peace And Freedom!
This article on seven a,b,c's of emotional intelligence is an introduction to "Matters of the Heart," our free eCourse for spiritual growth and emotional transformation. The 24 Main Healing Lessons from the course can be found in the downloads section in PDF and MP3 formats. They are also available in our Store as an ebook, a 176 page workbook and as CD and DVD sets of 24, 1/2 hour teachings.
7 Building Blocks of EQ
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a better predictor of success than IQ. It is the ability to understand one’s own emotions and those of others and to act appropriately using these emotions. EQ includes the ability to carry emotional stress as a captive to Christ so that you can regain even greater inner peace. You don’t have to be dominated by your emotions; you can exercise true sovereignty over them and live in the Spirit!
Study these seven A,B,C's of emotional intelligence, then put them to work!
1. We are sovereigns over our own hearts. God is not in charge of your heart—you are. Absolutely everyone on earth has been given a realm of power where they get to exercise God-given authority. Where is it? It is right inside you! Your heart is the seat of power. Out of it flow all of the issues of life. Your mind may tell you right from wrong, but unless you learn the secret of ruling over your own heart, you will live oppressed, rather than free.
2. We can actually rule over our emotions, rather than be ruled by them. Left to itself your emotional state will tend to overrule your reason, will and desires. But you don’t have to let that happen! You have the power of choice. If you see an emotion overtaking you which you don’t want to have, you can choose to do something about it. First, you have to learn how to work with your feelings.
3. No one can put an emotion in you and keep it there. They don’t hold the key to what is in you—you do! You alone get to decide what stays in and goes out. Eventually you can even learn to keep emotions out that you don’t want to have. This is important to know because if you blame other people or your circumstances for what you are feeling, you will never get free. God has made it that way so that no one can have power over your inner emotional state. It is between you and God.
4. You cannot force your feelings or ignore them. Ruling over your heart doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to things in you that you wish weren’t there. You have to honestly recognize what you are feeling and then do the right thing with that feeling. It never helps in the long run to push your feelings down and pretend they aren’t there. They will always grow more powerful that way and overthrow you later. Nor is it right to bully your feelings and try to overpower them in your own strength. How can you wrestle yourself and expect to win?
5. Listen to your feelings, but don’t believe them. Feelings are notorious liars! All negative emotions are lying to you—every time they show up. Fear wants you to be afraid, or at least worried, but God says, “Fear not.” Who is lying? Hurt feeling want you to stay angry with someone, but God says, “Forgive.” Who is lying? Shame says you’re worthless, but God says “I love you.” Who is lying? Always reject the message of negative emotions, but beware: Even positive emotions will lie to you at times.
6. Your deepest beliefs control your feelings. Feelings don’t jump on us without a reason. They spring up out of things that we deeply believe. Many of those things are not at all in line with the truth, but because we believe them, we feel them. These were things we “learned” deep in our hearts in our earliest years—without the Word and the Spirit to teach us better. That past programming will hold our emotional life captive unless we learn to fight back!
7. Freedom comes through a truth encounter, not a will power contest. The scriptures say to grab those wrong thoughts at the center of our feelings and carry them as captives to Christ. Hold your emotions up to the light of Christ and believe what He tells you to believe and do what He tells you to do with those feelings. What you really believe and therefore what you feel is between you and God. No one, not even God, can change your emotions or your beliefs without your permission. Your will is free. You are free.
Whenever you notice that your emotional state is being robbed of peace, don’t be passive like a department store “dummy.” Exercise your “emotional intelligence” by carrying every negative emotion (that seeks to dominate you) captive to Christ and be restored to confidence, peace and freedom—His emotional life.
Your new life in Christ is His life in you!
Interested in Going Deeper?
Consider taking our free eCourse for Healing. We have designed a complete series for personal transformation, "Matters of the Heart," to help Christians gain emotional freedom and inner healing. In all there are 24 Main Healing Lessons and 24 Head to Heart Guides to help you bring your heart to God and receive His Great Heart for you in return!